Captain JP's log

Preparing for the Queen's Jubilee Regatta

2012-03-06T19:27:00.000Z

On the 3rd of June 2012 a great armada will parade along the Thames.

It will be the culmination of a series of events to celebrate the Queen's Diamond Jubilee and preparations are already well under way.

Organising a flotilla of maybe a thousand boats will of course be a mammoth task. The Port of London Authority's web site has a number of notices to mariners that point to some of the key tasks.

For example if you look at notice U4 of 2012 you see a chart (above) of the areas where moorings, and lots of them, will have to be laid in the upper river by Barn Elms. More will be laid along the route, for example in Battersea, and others by London Bridge, Tower Bridge and Wapping (see M5 of 2012). These will be used before and afterwards to martial the great fleet.

Today it was announced that the Thames Barrier would be raised on the 3rd June, presumably keeping water levels high.

In case you're thinking of going for a paddle or sail that day you best check out notice to mariners No. 9 of 2012 which basically says if you're not on the list you should keep off the river.

If you want more the pageant briefing can be found here.

As to me? It looks like I'll miss it as I have a family event that weekend, but fear not: Buff will on hand to give his minute by minute, boat by boat description.

I can't wait!

Chartlet from: Port of London Authority

Pageant route from: Thames Diamond Jubilee Pageant

My other yacht is Alinghi

2012-03-05T14:28:00.001Z

Its the time of year when those with boats (*) are thinking of what repairs might need to be done to get their pride and joy (**) ship shape for another season of boating.

However for those in the 0.01% then the question is more likely to be what boat shall we buy this year?

If you are in the billionaires club then you don't want to be stuck with last year's tub at a mere 47m but instead upgrade to something a bit more respectable, as in the example above.

This is America's Cup tycoon Ernesto Bertarelli and his wife, ex Miss UK Kirsty Bertarelli, latest plaything on its way to the Caribbean last Friday.

The Vava II is a six decked yacht and at 96m just over twice the length of the previous one but cost a whopping £ 100 m and just filling her with fuel sets you back £250,000.

Yacht owning is an expensive business.

(*) and are in the northern hemisphere
(**) or whatever you call her

Picture from: Metro news site

Sony DSC-TX10 waterproof camera review

2012-03-04T12:38:00.000Z

There's nothing more annoying than seeing your brand new camera go phzzzz at the first drop of water (*) and as I've found out to my cost, not all waterproof bags work as advertised when kayaking on the Thames.

So I decided to invest in a waterproof camera and after the usual googling of reviews I plumped for the Sony DSC-TX10 on the grounds that its small and neat plus Sony are known for their quality images.

It turned out that two of those three assumptions were correct.

So the plus points:

It is small and dinky, easy to stash in a small pocket and carry anywhere
Despite not having that encased in plastic look it has been dropped on concrete and been well soaked in muddy Thames water without complaint
The battery life is pretty good - though buying a spare I've never needed to use it and now rely just on the built in batter
It can take HD video and has a 16 mega pixel sensor

However the images aren't that great, with soft images and high noise. For example look at this picture of sea kayakers on the Solent that was taken when out sailing two weekends ago:

That's pretty fuzzy.

In a way its reassuring that all that weight and money spent on a DSLR really is worth while - those big sensors and lenses do have a point.

So overall a camera that does do what its meant to - as long as you don't expect crisp images.

(*) ok, that might be a slight exaggeration, but you get the point.

Camera picture from: Amazon

Olympic rings on the Thames

2012-02-29T17:46:00.000Z

Yesterday I was on my way between meetings (*) when I saw these five interlinked rings on a barge on the Thames by the Tower of London and Tower Bridge.

Not just that there was also a helicopter circling overhead and the fire boat was pumping two lovely arcs of water over the scene. Alas I was slightly out of iPhone camera range so I decided to proceed directly to the second meeting (**).

By the time the second meeting had finished (***) alas the barge and its rings had disappeared but one didn't have to be a rocket scientist to work out what it might all mean.

Apparently they were due to start at Battersea Bridge but plans were cancelled due to "tidal flow". Ah, if only there had been a way to predict these things in advance!

(*) ok maybe one meeting and a "networking opportunity"

(**) ok, ok, this was indeed held in a pub by the river

(***) after much useful work was discussed, honest!

Photo from: Metro web site

Opera Review: Don Giovanni

2012-02-28T21:58:00.002Z

On Sunday evening I went to the Royal Opera House, Covent Garden, to see Mozart's Don Giovanni.

It was the same night as the Oscars so I spent some time imaging what a Hollywood mega-movie mogul would have made of it, which was the source of yesterday's post - aided, no doubt by that glass of bubbly before hand.

And very good it was too, in particular Don Giovanni who was sung by Erwin Schrott (see picture in yesterday's post), who was just right for the role. Swaggering, tall, handsome and clearly spending many hours in the gym he relished the role, striding confidently across the stage as if he owned it.

The other singers were good too, as you'd expect from a classy ROH production, in particular the servant Leporello (sung by Alex Esposito) and Donna Elvira (sung by Ruxandra Donose above) stood out. Chorus, orchestra, conductor and costumes all ticked the right boxes too.

The only let down was the set which has been a problem all too often for the ROH. It was basically a tall (full stage height) curved wall, the inner side for interiors and the outer for exteriors. That was pretty boring, but it was made worse by using materials like glass and steel that would be more appropriate for a modern executive apartment.

Indeed at times it looked like a curved wall of those glass blocks (above) that are used in fancy modern wet rooms style bathrooms. Now in a modern production that would make sense but the costumes were in period.

Then there was the statue of Il Commendatore which came to life, which was basically a framework of metal, like the burning man but formless, which was swung from side to side and then was replaced by a man with a metal hand (hence the Terminator reference).

I remember the Ring cycle from the 90s where the conductor admitted he tried not to look at the stage: the ROH hasn't a good track record when it comes to set (though to be fair the Mastersingers shortly after was a triumph).

Anyhow a fantastic evening filled with great music and a cracking story.

Updated: well it could have been worse as it seems the ROH has another turkey on its hands as can be seen in this review of Rusalka. For most of the audience this will be the first time they've seen this opera so why did they make the production such an obscure self indulgence?

Picture from: here

The Don Giovanni pitch at the Oscars

2012-02-27T17:07:00.023Z

INT: the Oscars. Movie mogul WEISUP is with his assistant YESMANN watching the proceedings glumly.

WEISUP (applauding)

Jeez, another for The Artist: Best Original Score. Well there was no real dialog so I guess they could put some money into the music. What ever happened to that classical number of ours, what was it, THE DON or something?

YESMANN

I think you mean DON GOVIANNI sir

WEISUP

That's the one. Is it a silent?

YESMANN

Er, no sir. There's singing.

WEISUP

What, you mean, like a musical? Who's the composer?

YESMANN

It's Mozart sir.

WEISUP (applauding again)

Jeez, lost another, we've got to up our game. I'll give this Mozart guy a ring.

YESMANN

...er... sir... that's not going to be easy.

WEISUP

One of these hard-ball playing arty types? Won't return your call or something? I'll find out who his agent is. Ok, fill me in, what's our Don into?

YESMANN

Well Don Giovanni's a real womaniser, seduces all the ladies....

WEISUP

I like it, I like it, he's really the victim, one of those sexual compulsive types, a bit like Shame, that won awards. We can have lots of hot women and its all "for art". George Clooney, he'd be great in that part, you'd believe he could score anyone. Ok, who's the love interest?

YESMANN

Well there's Donna Anna, she's the one he betrays in the start plus he murders her dad.

WEISUP

That's a great opening, can see it now, we can get Jennifer Aniston to play the dumped girl. But we need someone tough to stand up to this Don and raise the stakes.

YESMANN

Yes sir, that's when Mozart brings in Donna Elvira. She used to be Don Giovanni's lover but he abandoned her. Now she's out for revenge but a part of her still loves him - she's conflicted sir.

WEISUP

Now that's something we can work with. I see her as Clare Danes - on the edge, borderline psychotic. You never know if she's going to kill him or marry him, popping handfuls of those green pills the docs have prescribed, right?

YESMANN

.... well sir, I'm not sure the director sees this as being about modern medicine and pills....

WEISUP (thumping the arm of the chair)

He's right, dammit, she's not taken her pills!!! She's about to blow!! This sounds great, Yesmann. But the humour, we need to round this out, can't be all grim.

YESMANN

There's Don Giovanni's servent, Leporello. He gets the best lines, but you have to play them straight, not Jim Carrey, maybe that Hobbit.

WEISUP

Not that creep that goes all weird about his precious?

YESMANN

Er.... I think the director was thinking of Martin Freeman, you know, Bilbo?

WEISUP

Oh him, yes he's good. Ok, tell me more, what's the plot?

YESMANN

Well there's this wedding of a peasant girl......

WEISUP

She can be Penelope Cruz - make sure the dress is cut real low

YESMANN

... and Don Giovanni tries to seduce her but Donna Elvira is there too with Donna Anna and her fiancée, and they're out for revenge. There's a decadent ball which turns into a rampaging mob out for Don Giovanni's blood but he escapes in the dark of night to a graveyard.

Here a statue warns him ....

WEISUP

A statue?

YESMANN

Yes, it sort of comes to life, and Don Giovanni invites him to dinner later that night.

WEISUP

I know - we can get Schwarzenegger and he can say "I'll be back". They'll just love that.

YESMANN

That sounds a great idea sir, because the statue, that's the ghost of Il Commendatore, Donna Anna's dad, does return and at the end of Act 2 he drags Don Giovanni down to hell!!

WEISUP

I like it, I like it!! It will be like Terminator all over again. Ok, so what happens in Act 3?

YESMANN

Er, there's no Act 3 sir.

WEISUP

No Act 3? But there's always a third act! Robert McKee told me himself at that MGM drinks reception.

YESMANN

Well Mozart only wrote two acts sir.

WEISUP

And you told me this Mozart dude doesn't return calls, that's right. But you can't end up with Clooney in hell!

(thinks)

I've got it, it's going to be great. We can write our own!!! As I see it this Donna Elvira broad goes after him, yup, even into hell itself. And no guns work there so she and Il Commendatore battle it out with swords, flashing amongst the red fires.

It will be like Kill Bill! Or Buffy and Angel!! All blood and guts! Even the devil is scared of her, right?

Then of course she wins and they return to Earth. Sure he's a sex junkie and she's psychotic, but together they work, right? And then Aniston get's her man too, and that's a wrap!!

YESMANN

Er.... yes sir.

Picture from: Covent Garden

Book Review: The Watermen

2012-02-26T12:25:00.003Z

I'm always aware when writing a review that the author could be in the audience. So its hard to know what to say when you don't enjoy a book, particularly when the author, Patrick Easter, was a police officer for 30 years, including some years working on the River Thames.

You can just imagine him - or a colleague - stopping this humble kayaker with a "hello, hello, hello, what's all this then?" and then charging me under some obscure 18th Century by-law.

And he'd know all about those, for this book is about the life on the waters of east London in the years leading up to 1800, and the conflict between the criminal gang leader and his nemesis on the newly formed police force.

I really did want to enjoy this book and had picked it up at Heathrow airport with high expectations. And yet I gave up half way through, having had enough.

But what put me off? It could be style isn't one I go for. Maybe where I picked it up was a clue as it does have an airport thriller air about it, the sort of thing Bonnie blogged about (and not this one with my comment that must have seemed cryptic to those that hadn't seen film the devil wears Prada).

It reminded me of my writing classes and that old saying "show don't tell". This was tell, tell, tell. Take the "nemesis" bit: just in case you didn't work that out it was in the text - indeed the lead two characters used that word to described how they felt about the other.

Do you remember those children's books full of adventure that you loved when young then came back to and winced at the technique? It reminded me of that.

I must admitted a lot happened in each chapter, but when there was a death or at least an assault in each after a while I got a bit tired.

It might just be me: there were good reviews in both the Guardian and the Express.

Sorry Patrick!

Picture from Waterstones here

Sea Change by Michael Martin

2012-02-25T10:19:00.001Z

The tides are an ever present reality for those sailing in the waters around Britain. We have some of the greatest ranges in water level in the world and it has a dramatic impact on the coastline as shown in these photos by artist Michael Martin.

Sea Change is a series of pairs of photos, one at high water and another at low water, exploring how the landscape is changed and how that effects how us humans behave. Most were taken during springs when the contrasts are at their greatest.

A beautiful and strangely moving set of photos, and I look forward to seeing the exhibition in September.

Photos: by Michael Martin from here.

Tow a tug

2012-02-23T20:38:00.000Z

We saw this when sailing on the Solent this weekend.

Now usually a tug tows an oil tanker like this one but here it seems to be the other way round. It looked a bit like a dinghy bobbing along behind a yacht or a car behind a Winnebago.

Any ideas what might be happening?

JP puzzles Buff

2012-02-20T20:42:00.000Z

G'day all! Buff Staysail here! Buff by name and Buff by nature!

What is it about poms and the weather? All this talk about it being a bit "fresh" and going "frost-biting"?

I mean take JP, off sailing over the weekend. Ok, it was helping a mate sail his yacht over to the boat yard, but there was black ice on the foredeck! Jeez, you never get that in Brisbane.

JP was going on about these new mid layers he bought at the boat show - what a drongo! Surely he knows the only point about boat shows is the bar.

But JP said he had a great time sailing under blue skies on an empty Solent - rather him than me!

This is Buff Staysail, keeping warm and toasty, over and out!

Which sailing club?

2012-02-19T22:11:00.001Z

Just back from sailing so feeling all dozyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy...................

oops...... where was I?

Oh yes, we sailed passed this sailing club which should ring some bells for a blogger out there...............

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz............................................

The shipping forecast

2012-02-17T22:28:00.001Z

There's poetry and there's prose that's poetic.

The BBC's Radio 4 shipping forecast is an essential tool for the working sailor but it has a magic all of its own.

Dogger, Fisher, Bight....

Issued and broadcast four times a day it gives wind direction, strength, wave heights, weather, visibility and a sense of security all in one go.

Thames, Dover, Wight.....

The idea of having a weather forecast for mariners came originally from Admiral Fitzroy, famous for being captain of Charles Darwin's voyage around the world on the Beagle.

Fastnet, Shannon, Rockall.....

Now the shipping forecast is 90 and there are while there are threats to long wave transmissions, in one form or other it will be informing those at sea and hypnotising those on land for years to come.

Portland, Plymouth, Fiztroy

Find out more by watching the reading this BBC story and watching the short video here.

Picture from: The Met Office.

The Patagonian Expedition Race 2012

2012-02-16T21:52:00.003Z

I did another trip to the gym this evening and had that nice warm healthy feeling, but then I read about the Patagonian Expedition Race and that put my 25 minutes in perspective.

The "Last Wild Race" as it is also known, involves competing teams of four biking, orienteering and kayaking their way across remote parts of Patagonia including Tierra del Fuego and the Strait of Magellan. Each year's course is different and no GPS is allowed, just old fashioned compass and map reading.

Over around 10 days they will navigate across between 500 and 1000 km of incredibly beautiful yet hard landscapes.

There is a wicked part of me that thinks "Across the Andes by Frog" but that's probably because I'm jealous of the experiences they will have - if, that is, they finish it, as the drop out rate is around a third.

Anyway, good luck to the British teams and in particular Nick Gracie who is looking for his fourth victory!

Map of 2012 route: from Patagonian Expedition Race

Comedy writer in 130 knot cyclone

2012-02-15T17:33:00.000Z

One of my favourite blogs is "By Ken Levine".

It's not on the boating blog list as he's not into boats that don't have bars. Indeed when he recently visited Auckland he thought he was going to the "city of sales" and was disappointed to learn the truth.

However he is a very funny writer behind such favs as Cheers and Frasier so I visit his site regularly and recently he's been through a cyclone where the wind speed hit 130 knots.

Fortunately the crew rose to the moment and continued with those all important bingo sessions!

Read all about it here.

Picture from: By Ken Levine.

The romance of the sea

2012-02-14T19:25:00.000Z

Today is a good day to remind ourselves of the romance of the sea.

John Masefield summed it up nicely with his Sea Fever:

I must down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,

And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by...

Surely no one who has sailed at night under starlight will be unmoved by those words.

And there are of course many others, siren calls of distant shores, tropical nights and of ships that pass by night.

But the reality is of course very different. Being waken at night by calls that can't be ignored, one's life becoming secondary to the demands of the ship, warm glow vanishing after a drenching in cold water.....

I was wondering that maybe there are echoes there of shore based romance and maybe that's why some like to sail solo.

Can you think of any other parallels between romance vs. realities of the sea and shore?

Book Review: Hostage

2012-02-13T21:38:00.002Z

There is not much sailing in this book; but if the sailing had continued past page 2 there wouldn't have been a book at all. For this is the story of Paul and Rachel Chandler, the attack by pirates on their yacht Lynn Rival sailing off the Seychelles and their long, long captivity.

Of course we all know how it ends - indeed I met them at the London Boat Show - but what happened in-between, somewhere lost in a lawless land?

It is probably a question many have wondered on hearing stories of hostages in failed states around the world. The reality is boredom, helplessness, fear, discomfort and soul destroying uncertainty. No contact with the outside world, no way of knowing what is going on and most importantly when - or even if - it will all end.

During these long months they relied on the one thing left to them - each other. But then even that was taken away from them as they were separated, kept company only by their guards in a series of shacks and camps in the Somalia wilderness.

It is hard to make even the slightest suggestions to a couple that have been through so much, but I wanted to know more about the politics of the land and the back story behind their captors.

What impact, for example, did foreign interference in Somalia have in destabilising its government? Did this lead to a loss of control of Somali waters and hence influx of trawlers with devastating impact on local fishing fleets? How much did their guards know about Britain? What was their education? What were their hopes?

I don't think either Paul or Rachel will be going back to ask those questions any day soon.

The book flows well and there are some useful maps and a couple of snatched photos which both add to the text.

If you want to know more about the realities of piracy, ignore the Hollywood fantasy and read this book instead.

Picture from: Waterstone's web site

A sailing review of the film "The Artist"

2012-02-11T18:20:00.002Z

The boat races and the fishy fish

2012-02-10T20:00:00.004Z

Two stories from Putney to end the week.

First up the news that from 2015 Putney will no longer be the start of a University Boat Race - rather there will be two University Boat Races, one for men and another for women. About time too, many will say.

The second news is from the soar-away Sun about the record 10 lb rainbow trout caught by an angler on Putney Embankment.

However today doubts have been raised, with an expert pointing out that the rainbow trout is not indigenous to the Thames and that it had marks that could be signs of it being frozen.

Hmmmm...... something smells not right about that story.

Ah well, at least now have a whole weekend to ponder about there being a tide in history etc.

Picture from: The Telegraph here.

Just visiting

2012-02-09T17:53:00.003Z

Fulham Reach and Oscar Wilde

2012-02-08T22:05:00.001Z

Yesterday's post about Oscar Wilde's Impression du Matin brought a number of comments which raised issues such as artistic references and the character of the young woman he described, but no one mentioned exclusive riverside properties.

It was on the way back from Geneva in the BA in-flight magazine that I saw an advert for the Fulham Reach development and soon googled its web site. It is what an ex of mine would call "fancy": facilities include not just a gym but also swimming pool, spa (with sauna, steam room, treatment room), screening room, virtual golf and a wine cellar (obviously).

There is even a movie you can watch, but note on the page about the apartments the interior designs were apparently inspired by "Oscar Wilde's evocative poem about the River Thames, 'Impression du Matin".

Hmmmm..... lets look in more detail about the images in the poem. The yellow fog for example - this reference suggests the yellow could be associated with decay. Another article takes a more chemical approach considering how the yellow could be associated with tar soluble in fog water - in other words, industrial pollution.

The young lady is in many articles described as... well, shall we say lady of the night? She could have political overtones, for at the time a contentious issue was the contagious diseases act that attempted to prevent the spread of VD but the approach outraged many as an insult on working women.

In summary, as this article put it, this is not a "stop and smell the roses" poem. It promises sparkly water but gives the reader a glimpse of London's dark underbelly.

Not what one would usually associate with an upmarket property development, I'd fancy.

Picture from: Fulham Reach web site

Oscar Wilde's Impression du Matin

2012-02-07T17:02:00.000Z

THE Thames nocturne of blue and gold

Changed to a harmony in grey;

A barge with ochre-coloured hay

Dropt from the wharf: and chill and cold

The yellow fog came creeping down

The bridges, till the houses' walls

Seemed changed to shadows, and St. Paul's

Loomed like a bubble o'er the town.

Then suddenly arose the clang

Of waking life; the streets were stirred

With country waggons; and a bird

Flew to the glistening roofs and sang.

But one pale woman all alone,

The daylight kissing her wan hair,

Loitered beneath the gas lamps' flare,

With lips of flame and heart of stone

Impressions? Interpretations? References?

Closed for business

2012-02-07T16:57:00.000Z

This snow covered building two thirds of the way down les cascades raised hopes of refreshment, but alas it was closed.

Just as well Buff didn't join me - he'd have been so disappointed!

The les cascades run from Flaine to Sixt

2012-02-06T20:34:00.004Z

The 14km long les cascades ski run from Flaine to Sixt is according to Wikipedia "a classic". I didn't know that at the time, just that it was a very, very long blue line that went all the way across the piste map, seemingly on and on forever.

The weather being bright but very, very cold I decided to give it a go, taking the gondola from Flaine up to Les Grandes Plateires, then down serpentine until I reached the start (above) before heading off into the wilds (below).

But is les cascades right for you? First lets consider its strong points:

Its great scenery, from Alpine peaks to deserted valleys, then down to wiggle through wild forests
It's less busy than the main slopes: for about two thirds of the way I was completely on my own, seeing no one at all. When I stopped all I could hear was a solitary bird singing and sometimes the sound of snow falling from a tree hidden in the wood
You get all types of runs in one, from cross-country, to green, blue and even a little bit of red
At the end you zoom along a track between trees, across narrow bridges and around the sort of corners that would make Jeremy Clarkson go "orch, orch, orch!"
You get a real sense of achievement by completing it
You can reward yourself at the end can get a chocolate chaud for €2.50 rather than the €3.90 at the bar at the top of Les Grandes Platiers
Afterwards you get to explore the rest of the Grand Massif by heading from Samoens over the top via Grands Vans back to Flaine

However:

There are four or five very flat bits where you have to walk
There are no opportunities to stop and escape the cold in a restaurant, you just have to keep going
The snow at the Sixt end isn't quite as good as in Flaine - a bit icy even, with chunks of ice scattered across the run
That bit of the run is also narrow with no edges and if you slide off you'd fall down a steep edge
You will have get a bus from Sixt to Samoens: it's pretty simple and regular (and free!) but that's 20 minutes you're not skiing
You need to buy a more expensive ski pass to cover both Massif and Flaine

In the end it took me about three and half hours from starting at the top of mountain to finally returning to Flaine the long way round, but that included half an hour or so for lunch.

All in all I'd certainly recommend it: it allows you to ski through amazing scenery along near empty runs and feel you've achieved something.

Les cascades is certainly not your average run: it is indeed a classic.

The big slush

2012-02-05T18:21:00.001Z

I'm having trouble taking the "big freeze" story seriously.

My flight into Heathrow might have been delayed over 2 hours but as I walked down the steps and breathed the sweet smell of aviation fuel my impression was of balmy weather.

At 2 - 3C it was about 30 degrees higher than I'd experienced the same time the day before, and there was just a thin layer of slush rather than several metres of packed snow:

Maybe I'll feel differently tomorrow during rush hour!

-25C skiing

2012-02-04T21:23:00.001Z

A cold snap has hit Europe and it is currently -12C (that's 10.4F) on the streets of Geneva.

Luckily for me I've spend the day skiing in -25C conditions (that's -13F) so have to a degree (ho ho) become acclimatised.

I'm pretty sure those exposed ski lifts were even colder - maybe down to -27 or -28C (-18.4F) with wind chill so had to rely on that old reliable to warm up:

More to come as feeling returns to the fingers......

Cargoes by John Masefield

2012-02-02T09:25:00.000Z

Quinquireme of Nineveh from distant Ophir,
Rowing home to haven in sunny Palestine,
With a cargo of ivory,
And apes and peacocks,
Sandalwood, cedarwood, and sweet white wine.

Stately Spanish galleon coming from the Isthmus,
Dipping through the Tropics by the palm-green shores,
With a cargo of diamonds,
Emeralds, amythysts,
Topazes, and cinnamon, and gold moidores.

Dirty British coaster with a salt-caked smoke stack,
Butting through the Channel in the mad March days,
With a cargo of Tyne coal,
Road-rails, pig-lead,
Firewood, iron-ware, and cheap tin trays.

SS Robin wins funding

2012-02-01T20:42:00.001Z

In amongst the plastic mega yachts of the London Boat Show show there was a silhouette across the other side of the docks that caught my eye in the late afternoon light.

It was the SS Robin, a relic was from another age, built by the grand sounding Thames Ironworks and Shipbuilding Company way back in 1890 on the banks of the River Lea.

She is a coastal steamer and is considered so important she is in the core collection of the National Historic Ships Register, up there with the Cutty Sark and HMS Belfast.

And today it was announced that she has won nearly a million pounds of funding to complete her restoration together with a visitor centre.

I look forward to inspecting her more closely when they open for visitors.

Restricted visibility

2012-01-31T18:25:00.001Z

This is the view from the upper slopes of Flaine down towards the resort.

It is there, honest, somewhere under the clouds which caused a bit of a navigational hazard in the afternoon:

The solution that worked for most of the time was to stick to the higher ground but of course at some point its necessary to head down through this right pea-souper.

I was thinking about the sound's that ships must make when sailing in fog and for a brief moment wondered what the skiing equivalent was, until it became clear - and I'm sure skiers out there can guess what it was!

Skiing in Flaine

2012-01-31T08:29:00.001Z

The weekend's ski trip was to the resort of Flaine, about an hour and a half's bus journey from Geneva.

It is not an attractive resort, a relic from the 1970's school of concrete brutalism. But the setting is great - a "natural amphitheatre" like bowl surrounded by ice capped mountains, and spectacular views from the top.

Skiing is a water sport - right?

2012-01-30T15:23:00.000Z

So yesterday I went skiing and today I'm pondering what to post. But surely skiing counts as a suitable topic for a boating blog as technically there is a fine layer of water under the skies on which the skier moves.

Hence skiing is a water sport too.

No frost-biting on Lake Geneva

2012-01-29T18:07:00.003Z

This was Lake Geneva yesterday and there was not a sail to be seen.

Though of course this being Geneva there are other things that can be done in winter, sports that also relate to H2O, sports that really need the cold.

Lake Geneva's Neptune

2012-01-26T20:59:00.002Z

This is the La Neptune, built in 1904 and still sailing on Lake Geneva.

She was originally used to transport sand and stones but is now available for charter. Apparently La Neptune has 3 sails with a total area of 275 square metres.

I think she uses a form of lateen rig as can be seen on this site.

Geneva's Jet d'Eau

2012-01-25T20:06:00.000Z

There's fast flowing water and then there's the Jet d'Eau.

Water leaves the nozzle at 200 km/h, driven by twin 500 kW turbines to reach 140 metres into the sky.

If the sun is out you can see a lovely rainbow:

Volvo re-start at Male

2012-01-23T18:17:00.000Z

So the Volvo Ocean Race's secret is out - the mystery rendezvous destination was Male in the Maldives. And that's not too far from the position calculated using their (lat, longs) and DTLs as in the figure above from back on the 18th of December.

Might have a re-start of my own and starting following the fleet's progress.

A dragon boat for year of the dragon

2012-01-23T18:05:00.001Z

It's the sisterhood boat, whose crew has included one ~~Kate Middleton~~, er, I mean, the Duchess of Cambridge.

The Boat Project

2012-01-22T14:39:00.002Z

As O'Docker correctly identified, yesterday's picture was of "The Boat Project".

This is an art installation / boat being constructed as part of the 2012 Cultural Olympiad from 1,200 pieces of wood donated by the public, each piece meaning something to the giver.

It might be the drums sticks of a band, the hairbrush from the father who worked at Pinewood Studios, parts of HMS Invincible, a cribbage board, teak packing board from China, fragments of Brighton's West Pier, part of Jimmy Hendrix's guitar ..... the list is nearly endless.

Together they tell a story, a patchwork quilt of wood of the people of Britain. The boat is at present unnamed but you can vote from a short list on the boat project's web site.

She'll be launched on the 7th May and then make her way along the south coast of England stopping at places like Brighton and Portsmouth before reaching London.

Picture puzzle: what boat?

2012-01-21T11:33:00.000Z

This isn't Buff either

2012-01-20T20:12:00.000Z

It's a bear on a stand up kayak of course!

What'd you mean, you've never seen one?

One rather wet bear to be honest, having just fallen in - probably thought it saw a salmon or something.

Its not Buff!

2012-01-20T14:21:00.000Z

G'day all! Buff Staysail here! Buff by name and Buff by nature!

Well due to circumstances beyond my control I was unable to get to the Buff stand at the 2012 London Boat Show but JP managed to get this picture and boy was I hacked off! I mean he doesn't even look a bit like me!

And as for that hat!!!

This is Buff Staysail, for real, signing off!

Pippa good; PIPA bad

2012-01-18T19:50:00.000Z

Piracy doesn't justify SOPA

2012-01-18T17:57:00.000Z

The acronym of the day is SOPA.

It's legislation being proposed in the US Congress to stop piracy, but while piracy - both real and online - is wrong the provisions in SOPA are unjustified, too broad and way too draconian.

It might come from the US but it could have a serious impact over here too - after all Blogger is owned by Google which is a US company.

More here on why its such a bad idea.

Hostage

2012-01-17T20:45:00.000Z

I'm sure there were many people saying "great you could be here" at the 2012 London Boat Show, but there were two people for whom that meant a lot more than just politeness.

Above are Paul and Rachel Chandler signing copies of their book Hostage, finally free from their terrible ordeal and safe back in blighty.

I had a brief chat with Rachel about their capture by Somali pirates and the motivation behind the re-arrangements of the VOR leg to Abu Dhabi. It must have been really awful - one of my greatest fears when travelling to Pakistan was kidnapping.

They are already planning their next voyage - to South America. I asked about Venezuela, having had a great time there, but it too has a bit of a piracy problem.

Its truly great that they are free and able to come to the Boat Show and I'm looking forward to reading my copy of their book.

Crash

2012-01-17T14:33:00.000Z

Nope, this isn't JP after a night on the tiles, this is the crash dummy on board Yachting Monthly's Crash Test Boat that was on display at the 2012 London Boat Show.

Looked a right old mess, but not surprising given what its been through.

There were dancing girls

2012-01-16T20:57:00.000Z

So there were some for the opening, but if they were around later I didn't see them.

Though I suspect I was hanging around the wrong bits of the show i.e. not the Princess and Sunseeker stands.

Friggin' in the riggin'

2012-01-16T20:20:00.000Z

One of things to do at the 2012 London Boat Show was an opportunity to get a feel for the high life - or to be more accurate, to climb the rigging.

And they didn't have any old square rigger but the actual foretopmast of HMS Victory herself.

I had one of those "must get round to doing that" moments and then moved on, never to return. Nelson would not approve, being a great believer in seizing the day.

Though to be honest it wasn't that dramatic given the mast wasn't moving, there wasn't a breath of wind, nor rain or spray.

I think doing it for real would be much more interesting.

Sherlock and the Boat Show

2012-01-16T14:04:00.002Z

I was going to follow up my brief post on the boat show with another (short frequent postings being the thing nowadays) but the final episode of Sherlock started, and that demanded don't blink levels of attention.

And a cracker it was too. I won't spoil it if you haven't yet seen it (enjoy) but my suspicions were that if Moriarty could [deleted] then he surely could also [deleted]. And as for the ending, well the internet rumour mill is on overdrive but I agreed that Sherlock could have [deleted], [deleted] and then [deleted]: [deleted] is clearly key.

Anyhow less cryptically, the great Holmes is famous for noticing the dog that didn't bark and one of the interesting things about the boat show was who wasn't there this time who were in the past. Quite a lot of no-shows and the halls felt a lot emptier of stands and people.

For example there was no On Deck Sailing for the annual wouldn't it be great to do Antigua Week conversation. They probably got fed up with time wasters who each year would come up and say "wouldn't it be great to do Antigua Week", drink a glass of bubbly and then disappear.

So no free bubbly and no dancing girls.

But what was there? Well to answer that question would make this post long, and as we all know, frequent short posts are the thing now a days.

Later, guys!

The London Boat Show connection

2012-01-15T17:19:00.001Z

Yesterday's mystery picture was a display of the wares from the Mayfair Gallery. What, I asked, is the connection between the Mayfair Gallery and sailing?

It was in a way a trick question, because my honest answer was that I didn't know. Hence my surprise when I saw it at the London Boat Show, which I went to yesterday.

But obviously someone thinks there is a connection. If a gazzilionaire turns up to buy a $$ million Princess or Sunseeker they might want to decorate it with some vases or something. Or indeed a Rolls as in the pic above (taken with an iPhone so alas not a great photo).

To be honest I can't see your typical member of the 0.01% joining the masses at Excel in Docklands, but apparently the super yacht segment of the market is booming.

Unlike much of the rest of the show that felt rather anaemic, as will post on shortly.

What's the sailing connection?

2012-01-14T20:21:00.001Z

No, its not the picture in the background, its something else.

You don't have to read

2012-01-13T21:00:00.001Z

You can just look at the pictures.

These photos are cropped square shaped as per Instagram.

There's a whole planet in the last one.

Reprieve for the Putney River Bus

2012-01-12T20:01:00.001Z

Some good news for the new year - the Putney River bus has had a reprieve. Due to contract re-negotiation brouhaha (see here) the commuter river bus between Putney and central London was due to end along with 2011.

However fortunately an alternative bid was submitted and just before Christmas it was announced that Complete Pleasure Boats Ltd had been awarded an operating licence.

They will be running the Henley (above in autumnal morning mists) and Viscount boats providing commuters with free tea, coffee and toast!

Huzzah, hurrah!

p.s. The news story referenced is on the BYM web site, and Tillerman might like this image on their home page, which is from the Laser Masters 2011

A January sail, not the January sales

2012-01-11T11:48:00.002Z

About a year ago my sailing chum Tristan, aka the Natural Navigator, invited me for a weekend sailing, but in the end the boat was covered about a foot deep with snow so we went for a walk (trans. hike) instead.

Last weekend there was another invite but this time the weather was much more favourable so we had no trouble getting on the water for a great sail to St. Catharine's Point.

Sailors like to know the facts, so here goes:
Temperatures: 10ish - we didn't need gloves
Wind: NW - W, force 4 - 7
Sea state: some swell from the SW, especially when wind against tide (see pic above)

There was no rain, let alone snow or sleet, and yet we were pretty much the only boat out there.

On the way back we saw Jupiter and Venus, plus a near full moon, useful for navigating up a wiggly channel with only a few lit buoys.

Fab.

Send Buff to Miami!

2012-01-10T20:13:00.001Z

G'day all! Buff Staysail here! Buff by name and Buff by nature!

Well no doubt that Puma deal was a bit of a surprise but it got yours truly thinking about the Volvo Ocean Race schedule and one question in particular: is Abu Dhabi really the most Buff-worthy of the destination ports?

After a bit of honest soul-searching the answer was no. For an Ozzie from the Gold Coast one city above all called out to me - Miami!! (*)

I can just see ol' Buff returning to his old haunts from the days of the Celebrity Yacht Race, enjoying life like that Will Smith song!!

So how about it, any super-sponsors out there?

This is Buff Staysail, bag packed and ready!!

(*) or Sanya, Aukland, Itajai & Lisbon

Buff supports Puma!

2012-01-09T20:10:00.000Z

G'day all! Buff Staysail here! Buff by name and Buff by nature!

Thanks to Tillerman for pointing out that the previous post could be misinterpreted. Yours truly is a huge fan of all things Puma-ic and has spotted one amazing opportunity for Puma - or indeed any other forward looking media aware sailing organisation.

Look at my track record - word craftsman extraordinaire. But of course today's multi-media facebooked flickred twitpic needs more - yes a picture tells a thousand words, or of course in my case maybe a bit less, say a hundred or so.

So how about this: blogger, journo legend Buff Staysail together with a photographer - but who? This is where a light went off in ol' Buff's head - how about O'Docker? He's the guru on lunar photography, photoshopping, you name it

What a team - Buff Staysail and O'Docker, let loose in the bars and taverns of Abu Dhabi!!!

Bring it on!!

This is Buff Staysail, back on the bounce, waiting for that call!!

Buff Staysail boycotts Puma!

2012-01-09T17:03:00.001Z

G'day all! Buff Staysail here! Buff by name and Buff by nature!

Of all the bleeding cheek! I mean, jeez, what does a blogger have to do to get ahead? There was I, feet up enjoying a nice cold one when I read over on Proper Course that Puma have paid for ten bloggers to be flown out to Abu Dhabi - and NOT included yours truly!!

Instead they've chosen a bunch of fashionistas that worry about things like looking cool - jeez, I'm lost for words.

I'm into fashion too - Buff is known for his style!! Didn't they see my America's Cup World Series TV show???? Didn't they know that I'm already a "Volvo Circumnavigator"????

I blame JP. If he hadn't gone around calling top-notch TV shows like Three men do X as a "yawn-fest" or saying the DTLs in the most recent Volvo leg as "meaningless" this would never have happened.

I wouldn't put it past him (or O'Docker) to have mentioned that phone hacking incident.

Jeez, to think I could be now modelling swimming shorts!! Or mixing it with Hepburn!!!

That's it, I've had enough. I'm not going to buy Puma gear let alone go to the gym three times a week. A man has his respect you know.

This is Buff Staysail - over AND out!!

JP goes sailing

2012-01-08T19:57:00.000Z

Buff's kayaking joke

2012-01-06T18:09:00.000Z

G'day all! Buff Staysail here! Buff by name and Buff by nature!

Well JP has stepped away from the keyboard leaving me in charge so how about this for a joke:

There were two paddlers out in a kayak and they were feeling a bit cold. So one of them suggested they light a fire in the kayak. Not surprisingly the kayak caught fire and sank. Which only goes to show that...

........ you can't have your kayak and heat it.

Geddit!!!

Buff's review of 2011

2012-01-05T21:30:00.003Z

G'day all! Buff Staysail here! Buff by name and Buff by nature!

Well that was a cracker of year for ol' Buff. Forget about JP's 2011 and have a listen to this!

Buff's tactical head has been shining for real with biz ideas a plenty. In just one year I came up with an America's Cup syndicate, property speculation, 3 tier competition services and Buff's Brilliant Buoys (TM)!!!

What's more I've seen the way the world works, no ninny me, and how wheeling dealer types must engage with those politicos, like. Remember the Mandatory Laser Bill? Well that gave me the biggestish idea ever - Buff for President!!!

Well alas that didn't pan out, but then Buff the Man has grown this year, you know, like spiritually. My quest for enlightenment brought not just the horoscopes for 2011 but also shown the need for a Taru of my own (still searching if there are any lovely ladies out there).

Of course Buff the sailing expert was in great demand. I gave my top tips on navigation and discovered I'd already done a "Volvo circumnavigation" of Australia (beaut). Maybe because of that I presented the world famous and totally epic Buff Staysail America's Cup World Series TV Show!!!!

Don't think there's any need to go on about the boat show incident, the Syrian lesbian allegation or the phone hacking scandal.

What can 2012 bring? I think its going to be XXXX Gold mate!!

Geddit!! Olympic year and all that. Oh, and any major news corporation looking for a legendary sporting journo to cover the games, just email JP. He'll know which bar I can be found in.

This if Buff Staysail, ready and waiting!!!

Blog review of 2011

2012-01-03T21:47:00.003Z

It wasn't an easy year, what with a death in the family and the riots in London. There was also not just one but two periods where work loads were excessive for weeks and weeks in a row.

But there were good moments too. Despite the riots London proved it was great with a wide range of culture from Gauguin to the Book of the Dead to Steve Reich's Drumming to Miro to theremin SF to Iain M. Banks to string quartet plus didgeridoo to Barber's Knoxville to the Proms to John Martin's Apocalypse (and sewage system) to Film to Wild Beasts to Swallows and Amazons.

Just check out what was packed into one day off in London.

There was of course one rather well publicised wedding.

Hmmm...... looks like there was more culture than boating. But I did get paddling on the river, go ice skating and race in the Fowey Classics (allegedly). We were "not bad" three times in a row - yeh!

This year is already promising much, with both the London 2012 Olympics and the Queens Diamond Jubilee, and I've been plotting options for sailing routes and destinations.

Above is the classic yacht Mikado which we beat at the Fowey Classics - one definitely good memory to take from last year.

Of course Buff's year was even better.......

Happy New Year 2012

2012-01-01T09:11:00.002Z

A lovely abstract for which the reality is as interesting: this is an image from the probe Cassini currently orbiting Saturn, as explained here.

After rowing to the pole, a rowing race across the Atlantic

2011-12-31T19:06:00.003Z

One last post to slip into 2011 with a seasonally chilly feel.

The three men yawn-fest might have disappointed but afterwards the iPlayer suggested I watch a documentary called "Rowing the Arctic" and that was a lot more interesting.

It described the expedition last summer to row to the North Pole, highlighting how global warming has reduced Arctic summer ice cover.

However it should be pointed out that in this case they meant the magnetic North Pole, and in particular the 1996 magnetic North Pole which was somewhere at the top of Canada.

You might remember the route as the one that the Top Gear team followed a few years ago in 4x4s, though they chose to drive in Spring when the ice is at its thickest.

In this case it was August when 6 rowers, explorers and Arctic specialists set out from Resolute Bay to row the 450 NM to 78.595°N 104.1983°W. After 28 days of hard work and battling ice and polar bears they made it.

Led by polar veteran Jock Wishart the crew included Mark Beaumont who you might have seen in the TV series The Man who Cycled the Americas.

Now Mark has just announced a new project - to try to beat the record for rowing the Atlantic, and cross in under 30 days. Given it took us on Ocean Wanderer 21 days sailing that seems very ambitious to me.

But then I haven't rowed to the North Pole, though I have just been ice skating again at the Natural History Museum, rather wobbly.

You have to start somewhere.

Three men yawn-fest goes to America

2011-12-30T10:33:00.001Z

I'm not sure how they do it. Ok, I can see technically how its done, but what's the key to unlocking the Beeb's purse to be paid to say the most mundane dialog on a series of rather nice boats.

Every year its the same, and the only difference is location. This time the three men were in east coast US, pottering down to NY for the flotilla to commemorate the 125th anniversary of the Statue of Liberty.

There is no edginess to it, apart from the setting-teeth-on-edge type. To make it interesting they could have wheeled on Newt Gringrich and sent him in a time machine to 1775 where he could have told George Washington "There is no such country as America and no such people as Americans" just as he said about the Palestinians.

There was this fictitious task that they must find a boat and then convince the owner to sail it down to NY the very next day. But given that the boats were the likes of the lightship Nantucket you'd have to be a GOP candidate not to realise this was a gigantic fix.

On the plus side there were cheerleaders:

They were rather good, there should be more cheerleaders in sailing programs. They did this routine about "give us a J, give us a P...." - no hang on, that's my imagination.

At the very, very start there was a very, very short clip of the three men actually sailing:

Sailing programs, after all, should actually have some sailing in them.

But there wasn't nearly enough: much better to instead watch on iPlayer a great Great Expectations.

Cathy and Heathcliff - lost on the moors!

2011-12-29T17:46:00.001Z

EXT: the moors where Wuthering Heights was filmed. Visibility is poor but improving: out of the mists come HEATHCLIFF and CATHERINE.

CATHERINE

Oh Heathcliff my love I fear that we have made a grievous error and are now lost upon these desolate moors! We shall die forsaken: what a terrible fate! But be comforted by the fact that we will be together, forever!

HEATHCLIFF

Alas it is worse than that - I will miss the footie!

CATHERINE

But what is this? A tree? Will it be a better signpost than those false rocks?

HEATHCLIFF

We must hurry though, the kick-off is mere minutes away.

So what can our heroes learn from this tree? Can you help them reach safety in time for Heathcliff to see the kick-off?

Wuthering Heights - Naturally

2011-12-28T10:42:00.001Z

EXT: Moors where they shot Wuthering Heights. Moody sky with dark clouds driven by a fierce wind.

CATHERINE

Heathcliff!

HEATHCLIFF

Cathy!

They run towards each other and embrace.

CATHERINE

Oh my beloved Heathcliff, what raptures it is to be in your strong arms, to feel protected against the harsh world alone with the wind and clouds for company, my love growing stronger, wrapping around your soul to gain the nourishment that mere food can not compare.....

Fade out, then fade into:

CATHERINE

...and so my beloved Heathcliff my love is as strong as those rocks whose countenance is so like your manly face engraved as it is into my heart, by spirits climb as a lark blown across the stormy sky....

Fade out (seems like we were a bit hasty). Lets try again and fade into:

CATHERINE

...my love, my only one, for whom I live, for whom my soul breaths, and without whom life itself meant nothing, to be with you is to be complete!!

Beat

HEATHCLIFF

And I think you're right fit, lass

Beat

CATHERINE

Oh alas, woe is upon us, for as we have been engrossed in our love a mist has descended, cutting us off, as even an island with two occupants upon a sea of heather! How are we to find our way home to Wuthering Heights?

HEATHCLIFF

But what is this? A path, bound by dry stone walls on either side! And 'tis good stone work that, nicely laid.

CATHERINE

Aye, maybe these two walls can aid us in our hour of need! Tell us your secrets, oh ancient stones: which way be west?

So readers, can you help our young lovers? Which of the two walls should be on their left and which on the right if they are to make their way west to Wuthering Heights?

Happy Christmas 2011

2011-12-24T08:32:00.001Z

Theatre review: Swallows and Amazons

2011-12-23T14:30:00.002Z

Better drowned than duffers; if not duffers won't drown

The staged version of Swallows and Amazons, currently on at the Vandeville Theatre, London, starts as it should with the telegram to the Walker children from their father.

It works wonderfully, telling the famous story over a few brief hours to an enraptured audience of children and their parents, grandparents, aunts and of course uncles.

Adults act all the parts, as can be seen by the Swallows above. But they capture the spirit of each child so that Roger is Roger-like, and Titty is Titty-like. The fact that the smallest child is played by the largest adult adds to the magic - and humour.

The scenery and props are deliberately sparse, with gaps filled by the audience's imagination - which is as it should be for a story where camping becomes exploring and sailing becomes pirating. So waves are a pair of blue ribbons and the boat a skeleton so you focus on the essentials of sail and heel.

A few changes to plot were required to fit it into an evening and songs were added, but all in a seamless and supportive way. One line caught my ear, sung by the Amazons about how they grew up wild:

with only the clouds and a four bedroom house for shelter

That nicely summed up the spirit of adventure and middle class background of the families!

A wonderful evening that adds rather than subtracts from the book. At least one of my nephews now wants to read the story and my brother to read it to him.

All in all a great success.

Some reviews from Telegraph, FT, Evening Standard and Guardian. Also check out these this video and this one.

Volvo activates cloaking device

2011-12-22T14:37:00.001Z

The first Volvo Ocean Race boat has entered stealth mode which is a fancy way of saying they're not telling us where the boats are. So you might as well stop going to their web site and instead read boating blogs like this one while eating a mince pie or two.

This was the locations this morning when the fleet could be seen heading NNE towards the Maldives and British Indian Ocean Territories.

Even here the information available was reduced, as according to my calculations the DTL was based upon a test point just in front of the leading boat i.e. not actually very helpful at all, though it must be admitted the scenario is hard to compute when all boats are close to a line (large GDOP in GPS terms).

The only one that is clearly where it should be is Sanya which is here:

All graphics thanks to Google Earth.

Book Review: To the Lands of the Vikings

2011-12-20T20:41:00.000Z

This book describes Trevor and Lesley Hodgson's voyage across the Atlantic the hard way, the way the Vikings did it.

Starting at Hull they cross the North Sea to Norway before heading west, first to the Shetlands and the Faroes, then Iceland and Greenland to finally arrive at Canada and in particular Newfoundland.

As they go they keep an eye out for remains of Vikings travels and places they mentioned in the sagas, and in particular those relating to the early voyages of discovery to Vinland.

It was clearly an amazing voyage undertaken by an adventurous retired couple who clearly are experienced sailors and have a good boat, Symphony.

However if it were me I wouldn't have written it in the present tense, as that becomes disconcerting to the reader after a while. It could also use a bit of trimming and more photos - plus it would be useful to have some dates, just to get an idea of the time of year they reached each location.

But I certainly enjoyed learning about life on those cold dark northern seas, as Trevor and Lesley sailed in the wake of the norsemen.

Ice skating at the Natural History Museum

2011-12-18T21:48:00.001Z

Breath deeply and you can almost smell the mulled wine and minced pies!

Yes, Christmas is just a week away and JP's been off ice skating.

No, not Somerset House this time but the rink outside the wonderful Natural History Museum. It was great though a bit smaller and more crowded.

The presents have been bought and wrapped, the tree decorated and sparkling, the cards written and ready to post, so:

let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

Buff completes a "Volvo Circumnavigation"

2011-12-17T20:35:00.000Z

G'day all! Buff Staysail here! Buff by name and Buff by nature!

Well there's a bit of good news! Seems like Buff can claim to have done a circumnavigation of Australia - a "Volvo circumnavigation" that is.

But what is a "Volvo circumnavigation" you might ask? Well check out the latest race's leg 2 to see for yourself. Rather than sailing all the way to Abu Dhabi the yachts are only sailing the start and end bits and in between the boats are loaded onto a ship while the sailors rest it out.

Now that is the Buff style!

It reminds me of that summer when Brucy, Wes, Dave-boy and me, all good mates, got totally wasted and after jeez knows many tinnies promised to take Wes's Laser dinghy from Brizzy to Perth.

After one last sail - yours truly included - we stacked the ute with XXXX and headed off to the outback. After many adventures (see route above - got a bit lost around Alice to be honest) we ended up launching that ol' dinghy into the Indian Ocean and saying hello to the Fremantle Doctor.

Then it was time to return back home as me ma was having one of her turns.

But Buff had sailed the start and end of the journey on both sides of the lucky country - so in other words I had done a Volvo circumnavigation of Australia!!

Classic or what!

This is Buff Staysail, Volvo circumnavigator, over and out!

Where's the Volvo going?

2011-12-16T21:17:00.004Z

I'm having a problem understanding the point of Leg 2 of the Volvo Ocean Race. Ok, maybe it means something to those actually sailing it but to us watching we have no idea what is going on.

In theory its from Cape Town to Abu Dhabi but because of pirates its actually sailing to [CENSORED] at which point the boats will be put on a ship and ferried through the danger zone before being dropped off at [CENSORED] for a final sprint.

But as we haven't been told which "safe haven port" is the destination we have no idea who is in the lead or what routing tactics should be used. To further hide from us what is going on, we don't have distance to finish, though we do have some basic (lat, longs) and DTLs.

Ah-ha captain, this be solvable, this be. Yeh be a problem with two unknowns and five pieces of ~~eight~~ information, it be!

So I did wonder if the destination location it could be reverse engineered from parameters available and had a quick hack with C++:

According to this rather rough and ready code the destination is (-20.104, 57.531) which looks like Mauritius.

But if the organisers are so worried about security then surely they'd have thought of this reverse engineering trick and put in some randomisation to throw the calculations off the sense. Therefore the DTLs are either a security risk or meaningless.

So instead of a sailing competition this has turned into a game of bluff and code-cracking, not what the Volvo should be about.

More James Bond than Peter Blake, alas.

Updated: working from the (lat, longs) and DTLs tonight (Sunday 18th) we have a new destination, namely the Maldives as per this Google Earth map:

Google Earth and Pilot Books

2011-12-14T20:58:00.000Z

Its been a bit nippy recently, though some have braved the elements and gone out for a sail.

As keen readers might have noticed amongst the distractions involving rat matadors and lego Christmas Tree was a brief mention that JP might possibly be venturing out for an unseasonal excursion - for a good reason of course.

The where's and when's will remain TOP SECRET until planning is a bit further advanced but as to who is involved in this scheme if I say there's a Bond connection that might possibly be a clue.

In the mean time I'm having a lot of fun considering possible routes and even destinations, mucking about with Google Earth (above - note the Fastnet Race route is purely there as a red herring) and even buying pilot books.

Its a great way to pass an evening indoors when its dark outside.

MONSTER lurking in Olympic river

2011-12-13T15:30:00.001Z

Der-dum, der-dum, der-dum!!!

London's geese have another thing to worry about on top of it being the season to roast them. An unknown KILLER is on the loose on the river Lea and it is grabbing geese and pulling them underwater to their DEATH.

The River Lea seemed placid enough when I saw it where it joins the Thames at Trinity Wharf but before that it goes through east London, looping round the Olympic site, and that's where the ATTACKS occur.

So what is the aquatic fiend? Could the MONSTER be an ALLIGATOR or a CROCODILE - or even an escaped PYTHON? Or maybe its a giant pike, terrapin or mink?

Truth is no one knows so watch the ~~skys~~ waters!

Der-dum, der-dum, der-dum!!

Buff salutes Ben Ainslie

2011-12-10T22:10:00.004Z

G'day all! Buff Staysail here! Buff by name and Buff by nature!!

Thanks goodness at last those pommie sailors are showing some balls! Way back when ol' Buff was a lad sailors were sailors and had a girl in every port and would drink rum without coke. But the last of the old school were the Whitbread legends, and now its gone all pro like - you know, boring.

It's all training and families, good clean stuff, but not the sort of thing that get headlines. And what happens? Sailing gets a mere paragraph somewhere lost in the back pages. Jeez, journos like me deserve better.

So raise your sailing hat to Ben Ainslie for going mental and getting into an argument with a media boat. Buff says respect, mate!!

Look at those England football players - getting pissed, being caught with tarts, fighting (Arsenal even took on the US Marines), breaking things - and the fans love it!

In - ger - land! In - ger - land!!!

That's why Buff say's good on Ben and his brawl for raising sailing's coverage - BBC, Guardian, Telegraph, trending on Google News and Twitter - its PR gold!

I can hear it now, the sailing fan's chorus: all together now:

Sailings coming home, it's coming home!!!

This is Buff Staysail, reluctant pom supporter, calling out one more time:

In - ger - land!!

Tragedy on the ARC

2011-12-09T22:04:00.003Z

It was with shock that I read on the World Cruising web site of the death of one of the participants on the Atlantic Rally for Cruisers (ARC).

It wasn't the first death there's been on the ARC alas, but this caught my attention as the casualty, Andrew Nash, is thought to have had a heart attack while sailing on the same boat that I completed the ARC a few years ago, Ocean Wanderer.

I have almost entirely good memories of Ocean Wanderer (above, having arrived safely at St Lucia). It took us three weeks to cross, twenty ones days locked in a our little world, seeing nothing but water in all directions during the day and the endless stars at night.

But what will memories will it have for the current crew? And more importantly what will be the impact on Andrew Nash's wife and family, to whom he will never return and for whom Christmas is cancelled?

I am so sorry.

It was a dark and stormy night

2011-12-08T20:20:00.002Z

It was a dark and stormy night and Captain JP said to the mate "Tell us a story mate", and this is the story told:

It was a dark and stormy night and Captain JP said to the mate, "Tell us a story mate", and this is the story told:

It was a dark and stormy night and Captain JP said to the mate, "Tell us a story mate", and this is the story told:

It was a dark and stormy night and Captain JP said to the mate, "Tell us a story mate", and this is the story told:

...............................

Normal service will resume tomorrow.

America will see all episodes from epic Frozen Planet series

2011-12-07T22:37:00.000Z

I've just watched the seventh and final episode of the BBC's series Frozen Planet, and what a wonder it has been. David Attenborough (officially a national treasure) has for most of my life been presenting great natural history programs and this must rank as one of the best.

It has humbled as it has amazed and fascinated, leaving us the viewer awestruck, and every week has been a gem, especially when seen in the HD it deserves. I'm glad I managed to see every single episode, and will feel its absence next Wednesday.

But not everyone will see all seven, for some countries will only see six episodes, rejecting the final one, the one that talked about the polar regions warming.

Warming is an observation, what the team (and others) have seen. Such as the difference between the picture above of a glacier in Shackleton's days and the same one more recently, below:

Other observations are again just that, such as that military in their submarines have noted that the Arctic ice is in places half the thickness it was in the 1980s. Another is that the polar regions are heating many times - up to 10 times - that of the rest of the planet.

It is also a simple fact that the Larsen B ice shelf collapsed in 2002 and afterwards glaciers sped up six times.

But initially the Discovery channel in America said it would only transmit the first six, reluctant to broadcast those facts - or maybe it was those two dangerous words that David Attenborough said, namely "global warming".

Fortunately its been announced just in the last few days they will after all show the final episode, so Americans can decide for themselves, but its crazy it was even an issue.

Earlier this year I reviewed Simon Winchester's Atlantic including the catastrophic over-fishing of the Newfoundland Grand Banks which I described as "rather stupid".

I fear that we humans are about to be "rather stupid" on an epic scale.

Save the Putney River Bus!

2011-12-06T22:20:00.000Z

Oh no!

I read a sad story in today's Evening Standard: there's a serious danger that the river bus that connects Putney to central London will be closed.

For those that haven't had the joy of commuting by river bus (as above in the morning mist) it is by far the best way to get to central London during rush hours. You always get a seat and a great view with free coffee thrown in, and arrived feeling you've had a treat rather than been squashed in a sardine tin.

But it's quite expensive as its not subsidised and when the contract went up for renewal the present owners, Thames Executive Charters lost to Thames Clipper. Now this wasn't necessarily bad news as the clippers are a faster fleet of newish catamarans but alas they decided to send them only as far as Vauxhall.

A new pressure group has been formed with web site here that points out that the present service takes 3 million passengers per year.

Save the Putney River Bus!

The Christmas Tree

2011-12-05T22:12:00.002Z

"I saw three ships come sailing in....."

Christmas is definitely on its way.

While it can still be a pain, such as when supermarkets pipe xmas songs in their stores (yes, I mean you Sainsbury's), the boxes from Amazon have begun to be delivered filled with good things for my nephews and nieces.

Unlike shopping to ghastly music some things do bring a bit of that seasonal magic, such as this tree, currently gracing one of London's great railway stations.

It's just a tree, maybe you're thinking. No, this is a very special tree indeed, something that made passers by stop and go wow.

But what makes it special? Any good googlers out there?

The Hurlingham Club

2011-12-04T12:41:00.002Z

This is arguably the best address on the tidal Thames. It's the Hurlingham in Fulham, a private member's club based in this stately house on the banks of the River.

It goes back to Victorian era where it was founded as a place to shoot pigeons, and at its height hundreds would be blasted from the sky by the likes of the Edward VII when he was Prince of Wales.

It hosted the polo Olympics the first time the games were in London, way back in 1908 (we won - ok all three teams for some reason seemed to come from Britain). Now offers its well healed members some of London's best dinning and sporting facilities including tennis and croquet.

Back in September there was an open day in which non-members were shown round, but even then it was exclusive, with just the two tour times. It was very impressive, but I did feel it wasn't for the likes of me, which was just as well as the waiting list is estimated as 15 years.

But they keep a part of the river bank green and free from developers which is definitely a big plus.

When rats attack! ... or the rat matador and other stories

2011-12-03T13:16:00.004Z

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man ..... oops, slight distraction there. What meant to say it's well known that JP doesn't do frost-biting.

Or at least hasn't - there are plans, wheels within wheels, the game's afoot etc - but more on that another time. So without anything boat related here's the first of three London tales, starting with a long grey tail.

Yesterday I saw a rat, a big one, and it saw me. But rather than running away (it that is, not me) the darn thing charged straight at me. Fleet of foot I jumped to one side like a rat matador only to see the little blighter swing round and have another charge.

Hello, hello, hello, thinks I, what's all this? I remembered an urban myth about squirrels in Brixton getting addicted to crack after digging up drug dealer's stashes and wondered whether I was facing a rat having a bad trip or just your everyday demonic possession.

Thinking on my feet I crossed the road and in the swirl of traffic it got distracted and was last seen squatting in the middle of the tarmac chattering to itself (probably something on the lines of "I told you it was a bad idea running a budget deficit of 4% of GDP at the height of a boom" but I don't speak rat).

Maybe it was just hungry but it didn't look thin: rather plump actually. I'm told that rats were considered a delicacy on board naval ships in the time of Nelson, but today you can get many things at your local farmer's market, such as pheasants (above), but not rat.

I know this for sure as today I went to my local one in Barnes and jolly good it was too, especially at extracting £20 notes from my wallet. I got some fish, some naughty but nice chocolate thing, some soup and some bread from a stand very like this one from the Bursledon Blog.

Then back to JP HQ and a quick trip to YouTube to watch again that sketch from Armstrong and Miller called "The Farmer's Market".

Then for some reason checked out the trailer for Ratatouille......

Save Victory in a Bottle

2011-11-30T20:43:00.001Z

For the last year and a half Yinka Shonibare's version of HMS Victory in a gigantic glass bottle (above from this post) has been standing on the 4th plinth in Trafalgar Square.

Its stay is coming to an end early next year and rather than be sent off into the sunset like The Fighting Temeraire it has been proposed that it be purchased for the nation and located outside the National Maritime Museum in Greenwich.

I think that's an excellent idea and will be adding my name (and dosh) to the list at the Art Fund's web site.

But it seems that not everyone is in favour - as the first comment on the site shows!

Oh dear :(

Wild Beasts in Shepherds Bush

2011-11-28T21:03:00.003Z

By a bit of diary juggling and frantic tube connections just managed to squeeze in a trip to the O2 Shepherds Bush Empire to see Wild Beasts, and it was fab.

If you don't know them Wild Beasts are a guitar based band from England's Lake District, though they have recently migrated south to London by way of Leeds. They have an unusual sound, as if they are the chamber music of rock, a falsetto voice over metallic chords.

Here it was a bit more full blooded, with heavy base tuned to make rib-cages and the sticky floor vibrate. Maybe a little too heavy for the delicate numbers but it certainly gave the Hooting and Howling song an edge that's not there in the CD.

It was a great set, reinforcing how good their writing is, quality that gave them a Mercury Prize nomination. Again and again I'd find myself thinking "Oh I like this one" with the occasional "I really like this one".

The gig ended with "The end comes too soon", its climactic chord held for minutes, shimmering around the theatre, circling an audience looking up, as the band retreated into the stage's shadows to drink a glass of wine.

It was a bold, almost experimental move, a far cry from mainstream pop risking comparison with prog-rock excesses, but for me it worked, creating a memorable experience similar to the hypnotic effects of Steve Reich.

A good evening out in London town well entertained by a band worth watching out for.

Links here to reviews from The Independent, Daily Mail and Star.

Buff's Press Conference

2011-11-27T21:35:00.003Z

Recently Buff Staysail threw his sailor's hat into the ring to start the long road that could lead to the White House. Alas the press conference that followed did not go smoothly, as this transcript reveals....

Buff Staysail

G'day my fellow Americans! Any questions?

Undecided

Is Buff Staysail your real name or is it actually something like Islam?

Buff Staysail

Are you kidding? I'm Buff Staysail!! Buff by name and Buff by nature!!

Yachting World

Is it true this story we hear about you behaving inappropriately with the fair Sabrine during the America's Cup in Valencia?

Buff Staysail

I have no recollection of the incident you are describing.

Sacramento Bee

What's your foreign policy, Buff? How you getting on with your Uzbekistans and Azerbaijans?

Buff Staysail

My peep are on the case and have told me what to say.

Buff squints so he can read out the following text written on his hand

I love Israel above all else ...er... and my foreign policy documents will have ... er... the words "Pro Israel B.S." stamped on them.

Buff's Ma

What a fibber you are Buff! All this stuff and nonsense about being born in Hawaii - it was in the Royal Brisbane of course! Didn't stop crying for a whole day!

Buff Staysail

Ma? What are you doing here?

Buff's Ma

You drag me all the way from my cosy retirement home to hear you say you love this Issy floosy above even me!!

Buff Staysail

Ma, not now!!

Buff's Ma

You come home with me right now young man! And I discover if you've been misbehaving on those trips to Europe you'll be in real trouble!

Buff Staysail (exiting)

Yes ma.

Oh no! Looks like Buff won't be allowed out for a while.

Maybe you Americans have something else to be thankful for.

Buff for President!

2011-11-24T15:10:00.001Z

G'day all! Buff Staysail here! Buff by name and Buff by .... er... I mean my fellow Americans!

Yes, Buff Staysail is throwing his sailor's hat into the ring and entering the race for the presidency!!

But surely, Buff, you are about to ask, don't you come from Queensland, Australia?

A good question, and until recently I would have said too right cobber, till it was discovered I was actually born in Hawaii - and yes, we will have copies of the birth certificate for you once we have sorted out some ~~Paintshop Pro~~ technical difficulties.

But sure, Buff, your next question would be, do you think you are qualified?

Actually turns out I'm just the man for the job. You know when ol' JP goes barfing on about global warming and evolution it goes wooosh over Buff's head but it seems like that's just the ticket to get the ticket.

As to policies my corner stone is the 8-8-8 program - but hold your horses, let me explain.

Firstly, nine sounds like nein which is what a NAZI might say.

Secondly, eight sounds like ate which is what an AMERICAN would do.

Thirdly, 8 is smaller than 9 so the rich would pay less tax, and if there are any of the 1% out there reading this blog, there are significant tax benefits in funnelling your campaign contributions via the Billionaires for Buff vehicle.

Anyhow that's enough of your's truly, you good folks all have questions, you know, about the America's Cup, Lib ............... er ............. ..................... er ............. ................... .................... Liberia??

Anyhow, nows the time to give it your best shot. What's on your mind?

This is Buff Staysail, over and not out but listening!!!

.... oh, yes, and Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Book Review: Atlantic

2011-11-21T21:44:00.000Z

I actually finished this book a few weeks ago but pressure of work meant this review had to be put off.

In one way its a shame, as many of the minutiae of Simon Winchester's weighty tome have already merged together in one almighty swell. But maybe that is appropriately like the great ocean it describes.

This impressive book uses as its frame the seven ages of a man's life as given in Shakespeare's As you like it:

Infant: here we learn about how humanity first discovered the ocean - maybe very young in our history, on shores of South Africa

Schoolboy: in which various expeditions are sent out to turn those here be dragons and the edge of the world myths into charts and scientific discoveries

Lover: describing how the Atlantic has been portrayed in the arts, in art, music, novels and plays, including of course Shakespeare - who can forget The Tempest?

Soldier: alas these waters have run red too many times in our history as the blood of good men and women has dissolved into the sea, from the Romans to the Falklands.

Justice: ok, well in fact this section looks at trade, from the infamous slave trade to the beaverings of the Hanseatic league, to the packet ships and telegraph cables

Pantaloon: with old age creeping in Winchester looks at how we have despoiled our own environment, such as the catastrophic (and rather stupid) over fishing of the Newfoundland Grand Banks

Sans everything: takes the big view of an ocean that is getting bigger as sea levels rises and storms and flood threaten our great cities, and yet in the very long term is doomed as continents divided rejoin, squeezing the Atlantic away

Its one of those books that demand phrases like large canvas, for it is a huge subject. But Winchester does it proud, and his travels have given him a rock to build on.

From the south and being locked in a prison cell in Argentina during the Falklands war to the far north and being stuck by bad weather in a distant Greenland fjord called Scoresbysund, his many travels and experiences add flavour, colour and a human scale.

If I had to quibble I'd say the structure doesn't match the standard story structure, making it at times disjointed - oh, and the hardback version is too heavy.

But overall I really enjoyed this read and wouldn't hesitate to recommend it. Just make sure you get the paperback version!

Three Volvo photos

2011-11-18T20:46:00.001Z

Its been another manic week of work after a weekend of family business, so blogging has been firmly in the back seat. I've had just enough time to follow the Volvo Ocean Race, though its been a bit of a procession after Groupama's diversion to the Canaries (bravo for taking the risk).

Unlike the last post this one show photos of real Volvo yachts. Above is from the 2005-06's in-port race in Portsmouth, while below is another Solent sail, a day trip I had out on News International which competed in the 2001-02 circumnavigation:

Finally, below is another Volvo 70, Ericsson (the one, I think, from 2005-6), spotted in Stockholm during the Square Metre Rule Anniversary back in 2008:

Next week's schedule not looking much better than last, but will be keeping an eye out on those ocean racers. Tactics for the next stage look more interesting, with all sorts of route wiggling options to get them to Cape Town.

Soon we will all be able to put our feet up and relax.

Updated: for O'Docker here's a fourth picture (see comments):

Three photos for the Volvo

2011-11-11T19:42:00.000Z

It's been one of those massively hectic weeks where have really valued escaping even for a few minutes onto the Volvo Ocean Race web site. Compared to meetings, presentations, teleconferences, papers, projects, networking etc etc sailing non-stop four hours on four hours off seemed like a really good way to spend one's time.

So in return here are some of my photos with indirect connections to the Volvo. For example the one above I took when sailing near the Canary Islands which Groupama has, in an interesting navigational choice, just passed to the east (bonus marks for identifying the class of yacht).

Below are fishing dhows in Abu Dhabi, which is also the name one of the teams in the VOR. Alas they had a rather too dramatic start to the leg to South Africa, dismasting before they'd even left the Med.

So this is what Abu Dhabi didn't see - one of the Pillars of Hercules, the Rock of Gibraltar. When I was there we had no wind whatsoever, and hence had to motor. We passed a racing fleet that was drifting rather a lot:

The forecast is for posting to remain doldrum like erratic for the near future, but hopefully will be back in the trades shortly afterwards.

Volvo Crumble

2011-11-06T20:21:00.001Z

Its come around again, the Volvo Ocean Race, and I can just see my productivity falling. A minute in the morning checking the positions over the first coffee and then again in the afternoon over a cuppa tea, it all adds up.

But what is this? Already things are falling apart with a full third of the fleet (ok, two boats) out of action, with a dismasting and hole in the hull of another.

Watch this space, as they say. Hopefully nothing will happen similar to those dramatic events in the Celebrity Yacht Race - as covered by our very own Buff Staysail - which sailed those very waters back in 2007.

The photo above, btw, is of my apple crumble (caramelised apples underneath, brown sugar and walnuts in the crumble) - yum - as requested by Baydog.

Fireworks night

2011-11-05T21:26:00.000Z

I love a good fireworks show.

Tonight London smells of gunpowder on an evening dry and brrr! cold - but I've just had home made apple crumble fresh from the oven.

That was pretty good too.

Season of mists on the Thames

2011-11-04T20:40:00.004Z

Its the season where you seem to get all sorts of weather in quick succession.

One day you need coat and umbrella, the next the skies are blue and the talk is of Indian summers. Its also seems to be the time of year when mists roll down the Thames along with the tide.

Its rather poetic, as the bridges at Putney dramatically rise from the clouds (above). Lighters are unmasked, glimpsed briefly and then the curtain is drawn across again:

Wraiths, columns of air and suspended microscopic droplets of water, stalk down river.

Then the sun bursts through, evaporating these apparitions and imaginations, and it is time to get back to work.

Single handed sailing

2011-11-03T21:42:00.000Z

I was going to follow up yesterday's post with a health and safety report into Slocum's voyage around the world, but it seemed a bit too easy.

You can just imagine it: "no up to date charts, not even a single GPS or EPIRB, no radar reflector, log burning fire risk, no life raft or grab bags bla bla bla."

But there does seem an important issue here - can single handed sailing be sufficiently safe that it can be encouraged through organised races?

I dunno......I mean, one person can't be on watch all the time, and the stats show it is a lot more dangerous than crewed races such as the Volvo starting this weekend.

Double handed seems to be a better solution. No more "around alone" but "sail with a mate" - unless of course you're lucky enough to "meet and fall in love".

After all even Slocum got married - not just once but twice.

The Cockleshell Heroes Health and Safety Report

2011-11-02T21:15:00.002Z

Last night the BBC had a TV program about Operation Frankton, the operation that was turned into the film Cockleshell Heroes. I had only heard a little about this WW2 raid by on Bordeaux by canoe and so found it very interesting indeed.

However in addition I was lucky enough to be sent anonymously the following Health and Safety Report:

Diversity Objectives

The first question about this raid comes from the selection of the commandos, and whether there was a proactive inclusivity policy? Given that all marines were white males, I think not!

Time Management

The unit set off from a submarine in the English Channel in the evening of the 7th December 1942. Over the next few days it was clear that the marines were forced the exceed the mandatory working hours limits laid done in EU Directive 2003/88/EC. Furthermore the anti-social hours were counter to good home/work balance and there were no child minding facilities.

Equipment

The unit were in paddling low profile kayaks, painted a dark colour, at night, in a busy shipping lane up the Loire river with a significant amount of traffic (Nazi patrol boats), and yet they didn't have a single high visibility jacket between them! Why?

Stress Management

At the entrance to the river were a number of tidal races with overhangs resulting large waves with steep sides. In the confusion and conditions several boats were lost, either to the elements or ending up in enemy hands. Only 2 of the 6 boats made it through.

In such situations it would be understandable, as an act of respect and sensitivity to those lost, to return immediately for intensive counselling at the Happy Bean Bag Therapy Centre. That they continued is indicative of a retrograde phallocentric management style rather than modern inclusive whole-person holistic decision making.

Consumables

The remaining commandos then encountered some local French fishermen and their families who provided them with fresh bread and half a bottle of red wine. At no point did they enquire as to whether they used approved baking processes or what the bread's use-by date was. As to the consumption of alcohol while carrying high explosives, well words fail me!

Health and Well-being

After leaving the fishermen, the remaining two kayaks paddled on up the river, covering 25 miles in one stretch. And yet none of the team was a qualified physio-therapist and the constant repetitive motion was simply asking for RSI!

Ear-muffs

On reaching Bordeaux the two kayaks split up and laid their limpet mines against the sides of ships trading with the enemy. In the resulting explosions, yes, they did destroy 5 or 6 ships, but did no one consider the noise and provide them with ear protection? That is was ISO 4869 is for people!!

International Impact Analysis

At this point they ran away - and not just back to home as they should. The remaining four (well two, as the other team were captured) made their way through France, into Spain and thus to a Crown Dependency, Gibraltar. Did they have no idea of the amount of paper work that would generate? Had they no consideration for others??

Conclusions

Officially the two survivors, Major Hasler and Marine Bill Sparks, were welcomed back with a DSO and DSM respectively.

But if Health and Safety had had their way they would have been awarded an F-.

A frightful anniversary

2011-10-31T20:27:00.004Z

Today I share something with Alex and Taru.

No, I do not have a glamorous life sailing around the world, enjoying stunningly beautiful blue water, but like them today is an anniversary.

For me it is blogging, for 6 years ago today the first post went live. If I were 6 now I would be out there banging on doors demanding free chocolate, for today is Halloween!!

Being a little bit older I'll be connecting some appropriately spooky dots, and going back to the painter John Martin. As well as a career in art and a side line in designing London's sewage system he had time to raise not just 6 of his own children but also take under his wing a young woman called Jane Webb.

Jane Webb went on to write The Mummy (above) and the ever connected John Martin could also claim to know William Goldwin whose daughter wrote Frankenstein. It might not have been a coincidence then that one of Martin's own daughters married an Egyptologist.

Indeed there sometimes seems no limit to the connections John Martin made. He shared lodgings with the future King of Belgium (who became godfather to one of Martin's children) and at his dinner parties you could meet Dickens, Michael Faraday, Turner and John Tenniel, the illustrator of Lewis Carroll's books.

One amazing story has him on the footplate of a steam train with none other than Isambard Kingdom Brunel thundering along at 90 mph as they proved conclusively that a train could go faster than a horse.

What a great life!

Frozen Planet, Epic Viewing

2011-10-30T10:00:00.002Z

This weekend many of us in the northern hemisphere got an extra hour and I spent it watching the BBC's new series, Frozen Planet, about life at the highest of high latitudes, the poles.

It was an hour of saying "wow" and the occasional "effing wow".

Landscapes that make the Lord of the Rings look wimpy, waterfalls dropping a mile through the ice sheet, explosive birth of icebergs out of glaciers, a polar bear hunting for a mate, wolves taking down a bison, whales blasting through bait balls, sea lions surfing under a wave trying (and failing) to catch a penguin, humpbacks leaping from the water, killer whales deliberately making waves to crack ice or knock seal prey into the water then using bubbles as a smoke screen, underwater wood lice the size of dinner plates, ice caves around the volcano Erebus, rock formations carved from 200 mph winds, the Mars like dry valleys ..... the spectacles continued non-stop.

It was narrated by the national living treasure that is David Attenborough (who is a dot somewhere in the picture above).

For those in the UK I hope you are watching. For those outside prepare to be amazed.

Film: Tacita Dean at the Tate Modern

2011-10-28T21:59:00.002Z

One of the joys of London is being able to pop into the Tate Modern's cavernous Turbine Hall to discover the latest installation. And that's exactly what I did last weekend.

What I found was Tacita Dean's tribute to 35mm film called, er, FILM. Unlike in the cinema where the screen is much wider than it is tall here it is on end, reaching almost to the hall's roof.

In the 11 minute loop she demonstrates the range of techniques and textures than can be created by old fashioned analogue methods, using filters and cut-outs. And the loop itself is physical - a single loop of celluloid.

One of the main images is of the far end to the Turbine Hall itself, while others include fountains, streams, waves approaching a beach and mushrooms. Children love it, rushing up to the screen, trying to catch falling images, like the bubble above.

I enjoyed it, though I wouldn't rave as some reviewers have. I'm rather prosaically in favour of new tech, despite the odd hiccup.

Its really nice, lying there on that endless expense of poured concrete, watching silhouetted children and waiting for those mushrooms to come round yet again. I can totally recommend you go and see it.

However I couldn't help but think, again and again, why make life so difficult? It must have taken ages to do all of that the old fashioned way, cutting ribbons of film and gluing frames together again.

Just, like, load it up to MovieMaker dude. (or Final Cut Pro if you've got a Mac).

Maybe that work is the point. It was a bit like those Sunflowers Seeds of Ai Weiwei, in which each of the uncountable millions was created by hand (though it was a shame you couldn't walk on them as was intended).

But at the end of the day 35mm film is - or rather was - for me a tool that could be used to tell a story, and its that mix of character and plot that interests me.

Something, indeed, like Casablanca.

Play it, Sam, play "As time goes by"

Sigh. Now that was true magic.

John Martin, Charles Dickens, Sir Francis Walsingham and Tracy Edwards

2011-10-26T22:50:00.005Z

John Martin had a Dickensian quality about him. Indeed he was a friend of Charles Dickens and it is not impossible that one of the latter's characters was based upon Martin.

But I'm not thinking one of the artists in Dickens - though there's no reason why not - but rather the inventor Daniel Doyce from Little Dorrit.

For there was another side to Martin than those epic biblical canvases, namely the entrepreneur and inventor who was literally decades ahead of his time. Twenty years before Bazalgette he was proposing a sewage system for London, with architectural plans uncannily like the eventual designs.

He even proposed using the embankment of the Thames not just for tunnels but also for a railway network, proposing a loop around London not dissimilar to the Circle line.

As part of the exhibition on John Martin at the Tate was his plan for London showing new stations - such as one at Battersea, something that is still being talked about, a hundred and eighty years later.

Indeed the sewage system of London is still a topic of much debate. As has been posted here before, there is ongong controversy about plans for a "super sewer" that will follow the course of the Thames from Hammersmith to Docklands. It is waiting, however, on decisions about where the access tunnels should be located.

One of the hottest debates is about whether one should be at Barn Elms. This is where, many, many years ago, Queen Elizabeth's spy master Sir Francis Walsingham used to live in the days of the Armada.

Now it is a pleasant green space where there are rowing, sailing and canoe clubs, and having their activities disturbed for seven years by diggers is proving to be rather unpopular.

Indeed non other than round the world sailor Tracy Edwards has added her voice to the campaign to stop the shaft, saying "This is the busiest stretch of the river for water sports, and is used by everyone from complete novices to Olympic athletes to train and enjoy one of the most beautiful spots in London"

Quite right too.

But please, do hurry up. I do really feel that after all this waiting it is time to finally finish what John Martin first worked on back in 1828.

Tate Britain: Apocalypse (last weekend)

2011-10-25T19:55:00.003Z

Last weekend the world almost ended - or at least according to Harold Camping. It's hard to keep up, the world seemed to have been about to end soooo many times this year.

It seemed right, therefore, to go to the Tate Britain to see the exhibition Apocalypse of work by artist John Martin (as in the example above)

You certainly got value for money for his canvases were super sized and if you like the colour red, well you'll really like them. Epic scale, some with hundreds of people dwarfed by landscapes that seem to go on forever. Almost always there were snow capped mountains looming high above pastoral scenes, that, like Narnia, looked suspiciously like an English country estate.

The subject was usually biblical or classical era - think fall of Babylon or Pompeii - and the results were popular, drawing in the crowds like the summer blockbuster. The pictures went on tour, some going as far as Australia.

The art establishment was sniffy. "But is it art?" they would ask, as so many have before and after. Indeed when the Tate Britain was flooded and a John Martin got damaged the curators basically shrugged their shoulders. It was just a John Martin, after all.

It must be admitted they are not break-through material. It's not like Turner where you go wow, that's something new and different. It gets repetitive and the execution feels more like manufacturing than creation.

But it is good entertainment - pictures you like you haven't seen before, and you won't forget John Martin's name afterwards.

If, of course, there is an afterwards........

Frankenstein and Putney

2011-10-23T19:50:00.000Z

In these times of ours, though concerning the exact year there is no need to be precise, a boat of dirty and disreputable appearance, with two figures in it, floated on the Thames, between Southwark bridge which is of iron, and London Bridge which is of stone, as an autumn evening was closing in.

What's this? you are probably thinking. Has JP finally lost it? This quote is from Dickens not Shelley and those two bridges are down river in central London, not leafy Putney - where is this post going?

Hold on, we'll get to that. But lets focus on that image from Our Mutual Friend of the waterman on the Thames one autumnal evening, about to recover a body from the cold waters of the Thames, for that is what this tale is all about.

If you had been standing on old Putney Bridge in November 1795 you would have witnessed a very sad scene. A lady, her heart broken as she realised her beloved would never be hers, decided to kill herself. She went out in the pouring rain until her clothes were heavy with water then threw herself off that bridge, determined to end her sorry lot.

Fortunately two watermen spotted this attempt and were able to rescue her, and in time she recovered and was able to love again. Indeed she married and had two children, both daughters.

The eldest was Mary Wollstonecraft Godwin who later married the poet Shelley, It while she was on holiday by Lake Geneva with her husband and Lord Byron that she wrote that great novel, Frankenstein.

If it wasn't for those two unknown watermen who picked her mother Mary Wollstonecraft, also a writer, from the muddy, dark, cold waters of the Thames Frankenstein would never had been written and we would not have the monster in the photo above.

So you could say that in a way the monster came from that river: a disturbing thought as I peer out at the dark, listening to the wind howling in the trees.

The Armada and Putney

2011-10-21T19:00:00.001Z

So how could Putney be linked to the Spanish Armada?

There must, of course, be so many ways. It's a bit like saying what's the connection between Putney and WW2: you wouldn't know where to start.

However there was one in particular worth mentioning, Queen Elizabeth's spy chief lived there. Sir Francis Walsingham controlled a network of spies across the continent, feeding the English with vital information as to the status of preparations.

He would retire to peace to his manor house at Barn Elm's just upriver from Putney, where now you will find two canoe clubs, one sailing club and a rowing club. There he'd plot, plan and scheme how England would defend itself.

And there he entertained his Queen and their court in May 1589, the year after the Armada. And no doubt they toasted their victory in fine wines, though maybe not Chateauneuf-du-Pape.

Book Review: The Defeat of the Spanish Armada

2011-10-20T21:13:00.005Z

The defeat of the Spanish Armada is one of those classic stories of English history, one that mixes a bucket of truth with more than a tumbler of myth. But it wasn't one I knew much about so I found this book in a second hand stall it felt like an easy £1 to spend.

And good value that turned out to be. This is the classic written by American historian Garrett Mattingly which won the Pulitzer prize back in 1960 and a cracking read it turned out to be, one that I was looking forward to picking up again, to find out "what happened next".

It follows the story from the execution of Mary Stuart to the aftermath and consequences of the defeat of the greatest power of the day by those upstart English (not Brits or Limeys yet). The excitement builds as the Armada prepares and then sets sails, and you can image the thrill of getting to a chapter with the great title and subtitle of "First Blood: The Eddystone to Start Point, July 31st, 1588".

Mattingly is clearly a professional historian, taking a balanced view from both sides, in particular treating the Spanish admiral Medina Sidonia with great respect, noting how it was his decisions saved many ships in his fleet from destruction.

But there is also strong respect for the English leaders, for Drake, Hawkins, Howard, Frobisher and of course Gloriana herself, Queen Elizabeth.

A few minor quibles: the style is showing its age (purple and formalistic), there was (for me) too much detail on the situation in France and finally he freely interchanges alternative names for the key players, so you have to concentrate to keep up.

But that shouldn't stop you buying and then reading what is certainly a classic, if not the classic, telling of the Spanish Armada.

My copy had further signs that I was on to a good thing: stuck within were a Heffers bookmark (Tillerman will understand) and the label from a bottle of Chateauneuf-du-Pape.

A glass of highly quaffable wine in one hand and this book in the other: I suspect the previous owner must have had an entertaining evening's read.